The words I never got to hear...

My weekend was a strange one.

I recently signed up on a free dating site. I created a lame profile and really didn't expect anyone to look or try to send me any messages.

I did have a few people contact me, and, I responded.

One person called me "cutie". I didn't know what that meant! The messages eventually have turned into text messages...and on a whim, as I was messing with my new phone, I took a picture of myself (yes, I am that egotistical) and thought it looked bad. I told the person texting me that I took a bad picture of myself and I looked like I was drunk. He asked me to send it...and after pausing for a long time...I sent it.

He said he liked it.

I am never one to stop, especially when there are compliments involved...so I took another one and sent it...

He liked that one too.

I didn't know what to think...but I realized it was a huge confidence booster. Just what I needed!

Another person I met there actually asked to meet in person. And, as anxious as I was, I agreed. He works on the same base I do...so I thought "what's the harm?".

He told me I was beautiful and he had never seen cammies look so good.

I almost passed out!

AND...last but not least...I was IM'ing last night with someone I met thru the same site...

Quite a cute guy.

He asked to see my webcam...so I did.

Mind you, Sunday afternoon, I dressed like a complete slob. Wife beater and cut off jeans. Hair undone, makeup all worn down from my day...

This man told me I had bedroom eyes...

I have Grave's Disease. Thyroid dysfunction that effects your eyes. Mine look buggy and popped out of my head.

But he liked them.

All of my life I have looked at myself as nothing special. I even had a period in my life where I was convinced I was not real and I didn't deserve to be seen.

Growing up I had a harsh opinion of my looks, and when I moved to California, it only got worse.

But, I have had other people notice me lately. Each complimenting me on how I look.

Maybe it's time for me to take a better look at myself and hopfully I can learn to see what they see!

After all, a very good friend told me this...

"You may not feel sexy and beautiful, but baby, you are..."