But just when I found that spark, certain people want to make sure it goes out.
I guess I am easier to deal with and control when I am mentally washed out. I always think this, if you treat someone as if they are stupid and control everything they do and say...is it REALLY their fault when they aren't able to function without you? No. It's not. It's yours for being so dominant.
Lately, I've been feeling good. Exercising, eating a little better, and feeling good...
I made a list of goals, a plan to meet those goals, and felt fantastic about starting my plan...but, apparently it wasn't good enough for certain people around me...so they have to piss all over it, and make it THEIRS. When I can't own my own goals and dreams, I don't want them anymore.
My prayer for today:
God, give me patience to deal with the dominant people in my life. Give me strength to find my own feet and stand up for myself. Or at least give me the tact to tell someone to back off and give me some room because I am suffocating.
I want to feel good about me because I did something good for me...not because someone handed me a plan of attack and ordered me to do it. When it happens that way, it was never for me...it was for them!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
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